David’s Controversial Rider

Haven’t done any live shows for a while and as such we’ve lost the habit of constructing riders. The days of cat food (tuna Whiskas) are long gone. Or are they? We asked our multi-instrumentalist and life-style guru David Watson for his own requirements for the upcoming Gigantic festival (on May 28th at the Manchester Academy). i wonder how many of his (not unreasonable) demand the good people at Gigantic will supply?

Dear Fred

I will explain the details fully tomorrow evening, but as a guide please be advised that my rider requirements are likely to include the following:

1. Four towels- two large and two of the hand variety.

Colour- Pantone 2191C

They’re not for the gig, I need them for my bathroom at home and I simply can’t be bothered to buy them myself.

2. Five bottles of water to be maintained at the following temperatures-

2°C  5°C  22°C  58°C  93°C

3. An accurate thermometer to check that the items mentioned in section 2 have been delivered at the precise temperatures specified.

4. A small bag containing eight hen’s teeth.

5. A portion of fish and chips to the following specifications-

Sections from a haddock, a bass, a salmon, a mackerel and a cod, to be carefully sutured together to form a frankenfish (suture to be made from angel hair pasta). All fish to be ethically sourced and line-caught no longer than twelve hours before preparation. Fish to be lightly battered and deep fried in Argan oil.

Chips are to be made from the following types of potatoes-

Accent, Arran Pilot, Cara, Charlotte, Desiree, Golden Wonder, King Edward, Markies, Nicola, Sarpo Axona, Sarpo Mira, Setanta, Swift and Valor,

with no more than two chips to be made from each variety of potato.

Like I say, I’ll be able to be more specific tomorrow evening. For the purposes of time I’ve only included the first five demands for my rider. The other sixty three will be detailed during dinner.




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